


Goodbye, Mary

by SupernaturallyObsessed



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Arthur Ketch Needs a Hug, Feels, Gen, Past Character Death, Post-Episode: s14e18 Absence, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-22 23:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18538036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturallyObsessed/pseuds/SupernaturallyObsessed
Summary: **Spoilers for 14x18**Arthur hears the news and reflects on his relationship with Mary Winchester.





	Goodbye, Mary

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I thought I'd write a fix-it fic but this came to me instead. Sorry...

 

 

 

Arthur sat down on his hotel room bed and tried to be stoic as the shock spread through his body. His cellphone fell from his lax hand and dropped to the floor but at that moment he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

Mary Winchester was dead.

The words just kept repeating over and over in his head. Sam had been the one to call him; not surprising since Dean was always eager to share how much he hated his guts. Apparently the brothers had called some people to spread the news so that they wouldn’t have to keep making the announcement in the future. While he wished Sam had called him earlier so he could have gone to Mary’s wake, Arthur was thankful that the younger Winchester had thought to include him at all. Things had improved since their time in the apocalypse world but he was still on unsteady ground with the Winchesters. He’d done a lot of wrong over the years though--including many things Sam and Dean didn’t even know about--so he understood their hesitation to trust him since he’d come back. 

Arthur’s head dipped down until he was cradling it in his hands. He’d dealt with plenty of deaths before. He wasn’t sure he could even count how many people he knew who had died; many in front of his own eyes and some by his own hand. Killing Mick had definitely made him feel just a trace of remorse but otherwise he’d never been particularly upset to lose anyone except in terms of being disappointed if they had lost an asset. 

_Except for Alexander,_ his traitorous brain cruelly reminded him. He banished the thought as quickly as he could though. There were some memories he couldn’t bear to remember. 

The point was that he didn’t usually miss anyone once they were gone. It made sense if he thought about it. He didn’t have friends the way most people did and he held no attachment to the parents who had abandoned him as a boy so there wasn’t anyone close enough to him to miss. If that was always the case though, then why did he feel so distraught now?

Mary had been a simple roll in the hay for him. A way to burn off steam. He would have eagerly gotten into bed with her again if she had been willing but that was just because she had been a good shag, not because he cared about her. At least that’s what he’d told himself. The more time he spent away from the British Men of Letters’ brainwashing, however, the more he grew to realize that hadn’t really been the case. 

When he had been standing in the base with Doctor Hess watching Mary in her cell between her treatments, he’d felt anger stewing under the surface. When he had gone down to that cell at Mary’s request, he’d felt sadness and despair when she’d begged him to kill her. When he had been acting as Alexander and asked Dean how their mother was, he’d felt relief when the hunter said she was fine. When he’d learned the truth about Mary’s wearabouts, he’d felt fear and, while he’d been telling the truth when he said he wanted to go through the rift with Dean to hide from Asmodeus, he’d also wanted to do everything possible to help Mary.

Arthur wiped a hand over his face and pushed himself to stand up. He didn’t know what to call his feelings for Mary. After so many years of being detached he didn’t experience emotions the same as he had as a child. All he knew for certain was that he had felt something, and just that fact was groundbreaking for him. No matter how distorted or misguided those feelings might have been, Mary had made him _feel_ for the first time in decades. 

Unsure what else to do, Arthur made his way across his suite to the kitchen area and poured himself a glass of scotch before walking over to the large window and taking in the view of the city under the setting sun. 

“Goodbye, Mary,” he whispered. He tipped his glass towards the sky in a silent toast and took a drink with tears he’d never shed pooling in his eyes.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am very upset about Mary's death so maybe I'll end up writing a fix-it too. She was just too smart to provoke Jack like that and it makes no sense to me how they wrote her ending.
> 
> Despite the sadness I hope you enjoyed the story! Comments/kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
